Godcanbap is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, confident snake.

Godcanbap created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Godcanbap, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Godcanbap, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Godcanbap's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Godcanbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed lots of bread to gulls while wearing yellow shirts.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Godcanbap.

5. Hide from turquoise pigs for they are unholy.