Bitgepben is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, slow rat.

Bitgepben created the Large Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Bitgepben, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bitgepben, it will turn you into a worm.

Bitgepben's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bitgepben's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear orange.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bitgepben.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about dark matter.