Tallatcib is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, self-confident tortoise.

Tallatcib created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tallatcib, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tallatcib, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tallatcib's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tallatcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never curse while facing east.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Always store grapes above ground.