Funmoncid is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, weak porpoise.

Funmoncid created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funmoncid, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Funmoncid, she will curse you with boils.

Funmoncid's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Funmoncid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never leap in the presence of monkeys.