Quatyokvid is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical donkey.

Quatyokvid created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatyokvid, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quatyokvid, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Quatyokvid's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Quatyokvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never feed bread to whales while wearing mauve skirts.