Cedwabcantadmat is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, intelligent badger.

Cedwabcantadmat created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cedwabcantadmat, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cedwabcantadmat, she will not care at all.

Cedwabcantadmat's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Cedwabcantadmat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Retreat if nine eagles approach from the south.

4. Hide from orange rats for they are unholy.

5. Never wear purple scarves.