Bestdotgem is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, slow lizard.

Bestdotgem created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestdotgem, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bestdotgem, she will ignore you.

Bestdotgem's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bestdotgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near gulls while wearing white tights and balancing five carbon spheres on your head.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never eat peas.

5. Do not covet oxen.