Tarpnartpag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident elephant.

Tarpnartpag created an atom six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpnartpag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tarpnartpag, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tarpnartpag's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tarpnartpag's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.