Quimfotgut is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage snail.

Quimfotgut created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimfotgut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimfotgut, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Quimfotgut's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Quimfotgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never paint your head pink.

3. Never feed oranges to dolphins while wearing magenta rings.

4. Do not take Quimfotgut's name in vain.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.