Quimfotgut is a god.
It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage
snail.
Quimfotgut created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Quimfotgut, it will grant you five wishes.
If you do not believe in
Quimfotgut, it will denounce you as a heretic.
Quimfotgut's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.
Quimfotgut's Holy Commandments1. Do not drink alcohol.
2. Never paint your head pink.
3. Never feed oranges to dolphins while wearing magenta rings.
4. Do not take Quimfotgut's name in vain.
5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.