Farlinlagqueegfentonk is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, vain lobster.

Farlinlagqueegfentonk created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Farlinlagqueegfentonk, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Farlinlagqueegfentonk, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Farlinlagqueegfentonk's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Farlinlagqueegfentonk's Holy Commandments

1. Farlinlagqueegfentonk must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always obey Farlinlagqueegfentonk's priests.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never wear purple tights.

5. Always wear mauve.