Gess is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest dingo.

Gess created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gess, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gess, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gess' most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Gess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Put Gess first in all things.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Run away if six otters approach from the north.