Flamdumgom is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, benevolent troll.

Flamdumgom created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamdumgom, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flamdumgom, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Flamdumgom's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Flamdumgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flamdumgom.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not dye your hair magenta.

5. Never skip near foxes.