Yamxemtom is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, tranquil fairy.

Yamxemtom created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamxemtom, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yamxemtom, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Yamxemtom's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Yamxemtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.