Jiplabgat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, uncaring mole.

Jiplabgat created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jiplabgat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jiplabgat, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jiplabgat's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jiplabgat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Jiplabgat on top of all buildings.

2. Do not speak about strawberries.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near horses while wearing black ear rings.