Jadyimlad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, astonishing scorpion.

Jadyimlad created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadyimlad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jadyimlad, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jadyimlad's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Jadyimlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.