Sugjancam is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, self-assured clam.

Sugjancam created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sugjancam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sugjancam, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Sugjancam's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Sugjancam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about dark matter near gulls while wearing black shoes and balancing four gold spheres on your neck.

3. Put Sugjancam first in all things.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. You must never eat strawberries.