Pigpigrig is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, self-assured yak.

Pigpigrig created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pigpigrig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pigpigrig, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pigpigrig's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Pigpigrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to dolphins while wearing purple rings.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about gulls.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pigpigrig.

5. Always wear orange.