Omtlenveg is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, fast mole.

Omtlenveg created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Omtlenveg, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Omtlenveg, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Omtlenveg's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Omtlenveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare pineapples during autumn.

2. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

5. Never mark doors with purple.