Vadtimwit is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous porpoise.

Vadtimwit created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadtimwit, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vadtimwit, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vadtimwit's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Vadtimwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at midday.

2. Do not hurt great tits.

3. Never point your chest toward the south during prayer.

4. Never sing in winter.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing cyan skirts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your neck.