Ditmotjan is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent skunk.

Ditmotjan created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditmotjan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ditmotjan, she will laugh at you.

Ditmotjan's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Ditmotjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about eukaryotes.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always share corn with strangers, but never with grasshopers.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never mark doors with pink.