Bitzogbep is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating chicken.

Bitzogbep created the Virgo Supercluster six million years ago.

If you believe in Bitzogbep, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bitzogbep, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bitzogbep's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Bitzogbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always help sick turtles.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bitzogbep.