Kiksomhak is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, happy mongoose.

Kiksomhak created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiksomhak, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kiksomhak, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Kiksomhak's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Kiksomhak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters in need.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Run away if five snails approach from the south.

4. Never eat bread.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.