Milfembig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, narcissistic camel.

Milfembig created the Sol system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Milfembig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Milfembig, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Milfembig's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Milfembig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Milfembig loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about whales.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Learn three new languages a year.