Apphunquam Binnurtfot is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, prudent guinea pig.

Apphunquam Binnurtfot created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Apphunquam Binnurtfot, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Apphunquam Binnurtfot, she will turn you into a rock.

Apphunquam Binnurtfot's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Apphunquam Binnurtfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to voles while wearing turquoise jumpers.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.