Tofnaknarl is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, temperamental cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tofnaknarl created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Tofnaknarl, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tofnaknarl, she will torture you forever.

Tofnaknarl's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tofnaknarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Always obey Tofnaknarl's priests.

4. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

5. Never speak at midday.