Quartjennut is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic fish.

Quartjennut created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartjennut, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quartjennut, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Quartjennut's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Quartjennut's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not study chromosomes on holy days.