Tafgidham Konwatcet is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tranquil clam.

Tafgidham Konwatcet created the solar system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tafgidham Konwatcet, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tafgidham Konwatcet, he will turn you into a plant.

Tafgidham Konwatcet's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tafgidham Konwatcet's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never think about dark energy near squirrels while wearing purple trousers and balancing five copper spheres on your legs.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Tafgidham Konwatcet loves whales, so they must be honoured.