Mitwegsig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, grumpy hippopotamus.

Mitwegsig created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Mitwegsig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mitwegsig, he will turn you into a rock.

Mitwegsig's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Mitwegsig's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Mitwegsig.

2. Always help sick goats.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not keep three voles in a large pit.

5. Mitwegsig loves mites, so they must be honoured.