Flowflanflat is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unthinking owl.

Flowflanflat created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowflanflat, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flowflanflat, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flowflanflat's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Flowflanflat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five swans approach from the north.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near foxes while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing four tin spheres on your head.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never go into gray rooms.