Teennurlmin is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, humane parrot.

Teennurlmin created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teennurlmin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Teennurlmin, she will turn you into a slug.

Teennurlmin's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Teennurlmin's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Teennurlmin.

2. Never feed oranges to sharks while wearing yellow kilts.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about spacetime near ants while wearing white hats and balancing five nickel spheres on your chest.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.