Metxemfid is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, bad-tempered spider.

Metxemfid created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metxemfid, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Metxemfid, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Metxemfid's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Metxemfid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Always treat voles with great respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Metxemfid on top of important buildings.

5. Never look in ponds.