Wipjinbed is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing ferret.

Wipjinbed created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipjinbed, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wipjinbed, she will turn you into a hamster.

Wipjinbed's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Wipjinbed's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Wipjinbed loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Wipjinbed in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about shrews.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wipjinbed.