Cisspoptailgid is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, humorless dugong.

Cisspoptailgid created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cisspoptailgid, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cisspoptailgid, it will torture you forever.

Cisspoptailgid's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cisspoptailgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about solid mechanics.

2. Always count to four before sleeping.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.