Vinpodfum is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, idiotic dryad.

Vinpodfum created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vinpodfum, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vinpodfum, it will not invite you to parties.

Vinpodfum's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Vinpodfum's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven mice approach from the south.

2. Never feed lots of garlic to shrews while wearing yellow corsets.

3. Worship no other gods but Vinpodfum.

4. Never write about solid mechanics.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.