Arfbotrulljig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, loving warg.

Arfbotrulljig created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfbotrulljig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arfbotrulljig, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Arfbotrulljig's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Arfbotrulljig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Always help sick ducks.

3. You must love Arfbotrulljig.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never wear hats.