Hunquafnarbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic troll.

Hunquafnarbaf created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hunquafnarbaf, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hunquafnarbaf, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Hunquafnarbaf's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Hunquafnarbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Hunquafnarbaf loves gulls, so they must be respected.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Worship no other gods but Hunquafnarbaf.

5. Always pray immersed in water.