Yogzencet is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient monkey.

Yogzencet created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogzencet, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yogzencet, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Yogzencet's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Yogzencet's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Never think about dark energy near aardvarks while wearing violet rings and balancing four nickel spheres on your head.

5. Never wear black skirts.