Cubbigfum is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, charitable deer.

Cubbigfum created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubbigfum, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cubbigfum, he will turn you into a snail.

Cubbigfum's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Cubbigfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midnight.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Cubbigfum on top of all buildings.

3. Never cross forests at midday.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Pray only in darkness.