Nakwonbed is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, sapient warg.

Nakwonbed created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nakwonbed, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nakwonbed, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nakwonbed's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Nakwonbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured shrews.

2. Do not kill rats.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Nakwonbed on top of all buildings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.