Narltonkgod is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering yak.

Narltonkgod created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Narltonkgod, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Narltonkgod, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Narltonkgod's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Narltonkgod's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never talk about dogs.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never hop in holy places.