Dissgumgat is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, proud troll.

Dissgumgat created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dissgumgat, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dissgumgat, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dissgumgat's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Dissgumgat's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are not to be trusted.

2. Do not take Dissgumgat's name in vain.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always look after injured dolphins.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.