Flapbifven is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, blissful snail.

Flapbifven created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flapbifven, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flapbifven, it will refuse to believe in you.

Flapbifven's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Flapbifven's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near snakes.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not take Flapbifven's name in vain.