Vonxembif is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, sapient horse.

Vonxembif created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonxembif, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vonxembif, it will turn you into a frog.

Vonxembif's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Vonxembif's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to pigs while wearing brown tights.

2. Never mention frogs.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about dark matter.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vonxembif.