Bessloopquam is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, astonishing frog.

Bessloopquam created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessloopquam, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bessloopquam, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Bessloopquam's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bessloopquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.