Kabfiddag is a god.

She takes the form of a large, ill-tempered turtle.

Kabfiddag created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabfiddag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kabfiddag, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kabfiddag's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Kabfiddag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four voles approach from the north.

2. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kabfiddag.