Pitbusrigcap Lam is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, smart raccoon.

Pitbusrigcap Lam created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbusrigcap Lam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pitbusrigcap Lam, she will send you a sign.

Pitbusrigcap Lam's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Pitbusrigcap Lam's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.