Lunrakpark is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, prudent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Lunrakpark created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunrakpark, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lunrakpark, he will cry a lot.

Lunrakpark's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Lunrakpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dogs.

2. Always help moths in need.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never mention foxes.

5. Run away if seven doves approach from the east.