Lakdubven is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, resourceful turtle.

Lakdubven created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakdubven, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lakdubven, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Lakdubven's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Lakdubven's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lakdubven.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

4. Run away from mauve turtles, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.