Midraklarn is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, tranquil lobster.

Midraklarn created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Midraklarn, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Midraklarn, he will try to impress you with trees.

Midraklarn's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Midraklarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather four squirrels in one place.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

5. Do not name children after sharks.