Jonbonkkongan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, contented dove.

Jonbonkkongan created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jonbonkkongan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jonbonkkongan, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jonbonkkongan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jonbonkkongan's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four great tits approach from the south.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Do not shave your feet.