Bassablagrull is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced otter.

Bassablagrull created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassablagrull, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bassablagrull, it will cry a lot.

Bassablagrull's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bassablagrull's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bassablagrull.

2. Never talk about great tits.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bassablagrull.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.